"When we believe that we are the center of the universe, we remain focused only on what makes us happy without realizing that “happiness,” in and of itself, is a fleeting emotional state. There are many things that make me happy (a good book, a piece of chocolate), but few things that bring me complete and utter joy of the gifts-of-the-Holy-Spirit variety (like watching my students really learn or celebrating Liturgy). When we focus on meeting someone who “makes us happy,” we’re developing a superficial relationship, looking for the fairy tale ending of presents, platinum, and Prince Charming. Truly solid marriages can’t be based on similar interests in traveling and pumpkin flavored coffee alone: they have to have a solid core. That’s not easy when the rest of the world sees God as an abstraction and Sundays as the day for football and laundry. The struggle against the current can be exhausting when you’re looking for someone who understands that marriage is about becoming martyrs for each other in small ways every day and not about picket fences and puppy dogs.
The only thing I know for sure is that, like the Resurrection after the Crucifixion, the end result will be completely worth the struggle. When we’ve finally reached that point, we’ll be able to toast to a couple where each person brings out the light and love of Christ in the other. And if they also happen to like traveling and pumpkin coffee, that’s just the icing on the cake."
Taken from Blind Leading the Blind by Emily E. Howard